Category: Uncategorized

Ingredients: Northerner near the pig farm, full of cracks and shit!

I had already thrown in the spatula when I met this Omelet and thought for sure I was done trying to find the Perfect Omelet.

I was talking to my Brother from another Mother at work and he asked if I had tried OK Cupid. I was like No I haven’t and he said you should try it maybe you will meet different types of guys there. 

At first I was getting hit on by some grandpa’s until this one Omelet started up a convo and we exchanged numbers. I was hesitant at first because he was 12 years younger. 

We hit it off immediately and within a matter of weeks he was doing things for me no man had done in a very long time. He was very generous and attentive and he even introduced me to his mother in which we both hit it off so well that his mom asked me if I wanted to have more children and expressed how if I did our child would be so spoiled. 

I talked to him every morning before work and got texts and calls and video messages from him daily. We even talked about considering moving in together next summer once school was out for my daughter. Everything was happening so fast and then boom my texts weren’t being returned and he wasn’t answering my calls.

I honestly thought something had happened to him because I had just talked to him throughout the day just one day before as we had plans for dinner the next day.

After him not responding to my texts and entire day I sent him a text message  just letting him know that if he wasn’t interested he should just tell me rather then just stop the communication just like that! 

A whole 24 hours later after still being concerned and sending one last text that I was worried I get a text from him saying “I’m at work and we aren’t going to work out” 

It just didn’t make any sense. This has been pretty typical of things that have happened when it’s someone I’m really into. I don’t get it! Do they get yolked feet? I don’t understand. How do you go from waking up communicating with someone all day everyday to zero communication with no explanation.

I was so pissed off at this point for him waisting my time I didn’t even ask for an explanation and blocked him immediately from contacting me.

Well this time I was the one that got Let Go but I’m glad like every other situation it didn’t get too far in

Ladies I don’t even know what advice to give on this situation because when a man is giving you all the attention you deserve and that suddenly changes it’s baffling. Has anyone else had this experience and fellas if you’re reading why would a man awaken a woman’s heart but have no desire to do anything with it but love and nourish it?

Y.O.L.K.

You Only Live Knowingly

Ingredients: Cracked Shell, Looking to Prey and Rotten Egg! 

This was someone I met on P.O.G. (Plenty of Garbage). It was also the last day I took anyone seriously from this dating site. Remember that! 

When I met him he was a divorcée of 2 years and a single Dad. So he said anyways.

This encounter I had with him was very brief because within the first few weeks he told me that he was falling in love with me and had all these sweet things to say. We started to spend more time together and I thought he was really nice and very different from the norm but something wasn’t right upstairs.I asked him for his daughters name one day and he wouldn’t say and so I waited and asked for his moms name and he totally avoided answering the question. That was so strange to me. 

He in fact became the very reason I started this blog. 

One day we were on the phone and he says “I need a favor” and I say what’s that and he says “I need $1200 so that I can renew my HVAC certificate for work”.

I snapped because to be honest I don’t even know this Omelet and how dare he ask me for money period! He got an earful from me of what I thought about him even asking me for money. I’m still to this day trying to figure out what made him think I was stupid?

He had not been the first Omelet to ask me for money so my first thought was Are women out here paying men in Las Vegas? 

That was the last time I spoke to this Omelet because he must have completely cracked his shell so you know what I said?

Omelet Him Go!

Ladies No Man should ever ask a woman for money and if he does it’s because he is your husband and your assets are shared. If you are not in a relationship with this person for moons then a Man has no right to ask you for a red copper penny. 

And Ladies make sure you always have your own and you aren’t dependent upon a Man. 

My mother always said never put yourself in a position that if a man leaves you that you can not survive on your own.

Y.O.L.K.

You Only Live Knowingly

Ingredients: Long neck, Webbed feet but he could cook tho..

I met the Boston Omelet on POG (Plenty of Garbage) also..

Our first date we both decided to meet up at a wing spot because it was both of our favorite quick grab food. We had great conversation and so we went to see a movie after and it was such a great date I thought for sure finally a normal person that knows how to actually date! 

Then I got to work the next day all excited about the next date and when I mentioned to one of my co workers I was out on a date the day before with some nice guy that was 6’7″ she says immediately without me saying his name “I know him”! “Awkward” She then asked his name and I told her and she starts telling me how they used to date and he was a great kisser and I’m like idk about all that we didn’t kiss..

So my immediate thought was I cant wait to get off work because I have questions…

So he mentions to me that they did date and that it wasn’t serious so I wanted to know if he slept with her. So he says yes is that going to be a problem? My first response was Hell Yes! I have to look at this girl at work knowing she smashed what could potentially be mine..

I then with convincing from him and my friends decided I would still date him it wasn’t something recent and why should I ruin something that could potentially be great? so I went on date #2.

On date #2 we met at a pizza place he raved about and had pizza and drinks.

Date #3 he decided to show me his chef skills so he asked me over for a home made meal steak, potatoes and asparagus and I brought the wine..Now the funny part about going to his place is he coincidentally lived in the same complex as the Southern Omelet..My luck right?? Lol

So date #4 came and I had tickets to see a show so we saw the show and hung out for a little while after at a bar for a drink and then he mentioned he was going to meet up with some friends after.

Every week for 4 weeks straight we planned a date night so I’m thinking well clearly this is going to get somewhere and week 5 came and I heard nothing. I knew he was busy with his son so I didn’t make a big deal and then week 6 came and I had barely spoken to him. I asked him to call me and I was like, Are we good? And he says yes we are grown if it wasn’t I would let you know..

And then another 2 weeks past and nothing. So at this point I decided Omelet Him Go!

I am seriously not the type to chase a man and I feel if there was sincere interest he would be in contact. 

So that ended just like that because my thought is dating shouldn’t be this hard…
Y.O.L.K.

You Only Live Knowingly 

Ingredients: Southern Flavor, All about his sausage, Cheap Cheap Cheap

So this guy wasn’t my first date from P.O.G. (Plenty of Garbage) the others just didn’t last past the first date so they weren’t worth blogging about.

I decided to create a profile on this dating app because a few ladies at work actually had some success and met husbands here so I figured if this is where I can meet a decent guy what do I have to lose? (remember I asked that) 

So initially I wasn’t sure if he would be my type but I went and met him and thought he was cute he had some swag to him and there wasn’t this huge difference in age.

It started cool and then I started asking my usual questions trying to pick his brain to see what this was going to lead to. The responses I received let me know that it wasn’t going to lead anywhere. 

He was more interested in buying expensive Jeans and Sun Glasses than getting to know a real woman. He didn’t ask to take me out once and I went with him to get food one night for him and his friend and even though I had eaten he never even asked if I wanted a bottle of water. 

So I said Omelet Him Go!

I think the biggest problem I had with this person is that I made my expectations clear from the beginning I wasn’t wanting something temporary as I was not getting any younger and this Omelet still told me what I wanted to hear.

It’s sad that today most men can’t look at a woman and not think with their sausage. I wanted to be valued for more than my beauty and sex appeal.

I started to ask myself a lot of questions. What about my brain? Does anyone care about brains anymore? Does anyone wonder why they have kids with women and then leave them as single mothers? Why relationships don’t last? Why people give up when things get hard? Why doesn’t anyone want to put in the effort to be life long partners?

After all that questioning I realized I was worth so much more and I never looked back.

 Y.O.L.K.

You Only Live Knowingly 

Ingredients: Cracked Egg, Intriguing, Unsteady and a bit of Clucker

I went home to California for my Birthday and my family ended up throwing me a surprise party.

I’m from a small town as I mentioned in the previous blog so someone informed “My all time go to Omelet” I was in town so he came by and it was really awkward seeing him. He left and sent me this long text saying that he thought it would be different seeing me since it had been so long and that he felt like I had moved on and as I’m reading this text in thinking, Awww someone’s in their feelings poor little omelet. 

My response to him was, we haven’t been together in a year, even though at that moment I wasn’t with someone else I could do whatever I pleased. I came to a conclusion at that moment that he realized he was no longer in control and that hurt him.

Anyways moving along, as I am enjoying my time with my family for my birthday there was an Omelet there and we locked eyes and we spent a little too long after locking for me to realize there was something attractive about him.

I tried to avoid it because I was thinking I don’t know if I’m quite ready to date again and especially long distance.  

Well my sister, bless her heart was having a conversation with him later on he was sharing some music with her that he had on his phone but his phone kept ringing so my sister asked if he could send her the link to my phone of his music. 

I was thinking why is she asking him to send this to my phone when she has her own phone? It was then I realized it was a set up.

We then were texting each other all through the night and the next day he came back to see me before I came back to Vegas. 

There was something about him that was intriguing. I’ve always had a thing for Omelets that were a little rough around the feathers and he was just that. He had these beautiful eyes and nice lips and when he talked his gold grill shined. 

We continued talking by phone daily once I got back to Las Vegas and the conversations turned from being just interested to us actually exchanging the Love word with each other and talks about our future. He was very expressive in his feelings for me which was rare from a man but he was a writer like me so he was good with words.

He would tell me he was coming to Las Vegas he even bought a ticket to come and never showed up. Even though he stood me up so many times he would be very apologetic and I would fall for his apologies.

I ended up going back to California about 3 months later to spend some time with my son and I made time for him and I to go out and that was when I realized he was way to rough around the feathers. He brought his gun in the restaurant with us when we went out to dinner one night and when I questioned why it was necessary he said because he had to be safe at all times.

He seemed to be all over the place and a little fidgety and I don’t know if he could tell by the look on my face because I was totally giving him “The Look” he then mentions that he was a ridlin kid when he was younger and I thought Awww it all makes sense.lol

When I returned home to Las Vegas I tried to talk to him about his lifestyle and making changes to it but he didn’t want to hear it. 

Then one day out of the blue he accused me of sleeping with someone else and our relationship just fizzled after that.

And I said Omelet Him Go!

Even though I know I could never be with Scrambled Omelet I think about his well being often and pray for his safety and that he realizes that there are better ways to live his life than the way he does. 

I learned it was time for me to make better choices in the men I choose to date and to step outside the box and try something different.

Y.O.L.K

You Only Live Knowingly

 

Ingredients: Half Baked, Back Yard Chicken Egg,with a BIG side of Sausage.

My All Time Go to was leftovers. 

We dated back in the late 90’s briefly but we have known each other practically all of our lives because we grew up in a small town together where everyone knows everyone.

When we dated in the 90’s I never let him know how I felt about him because of the many women he dealt with in his past.

We lost touch for a number of years until one late night in 2012 I get this phone call and this person is asking me how I was doing and after repeatedly asking who it was he finally said who he was.

Needless to say I was hit by all kinds of emotions how did he get my number, why after all these years is he reaching out to me, Ohhh how I missed the big Side of Sausage but also what the hell does he want? Lol 

So he came to visit me in Las Vegas and it was like he never left it was like I had my best friend again. We dated long distance for 3 years. By all means this was not a perfect 3 years.

I had always in the back of my head suspected unfaithfulness but I never had proof I would question it and he would deny it.

Several times his own daughter would hint to me I should get me a side sausage but I would ignore her because I genuinely believed that he loved me. I mean why else would he go out of his way to find me?

One day I was at the gym with my personal trainer and his daughter called because the two of them were having an argument as always and I shut her down to remind her as I had many times not to involve me in their problems. 

Well that didn’t make her happy and the way she knew to get back at him was to post a picture on her Instagram of him and another woman.

She got the reaction she was wanting because I immediately called him and confronted him and his response to me was devastating. 

His exact words were “Well you knew what type of Omelet I was when you started indulging in me”!!!!!

I mean if that wasn’t the biggest slap of Yolk in my face I don’t know what could be.

Nothing was ever the same after that even though he tried to make it work there is no way I am going to be someone’s side chick. 

Needless to say that ended and I haven’t craved my All Time Go To Omelet in almost 2 years.

In fact for an entire year straight I didn’t even care to indulge in an Omelet.

What I Really learned from this is that I’m not sure it was love at all I was just Sausagematized.

It finally came to me and I said you know what, Omelethimgo! 

Ladies we have all been Sausagematized before you know addicted to the Big Side of Sausage that comes with the Omelet.

So take it from me use your brain and don’t be Sausagematized.

Stay tuned for the next blog

Y.O.L.K.

You Only Live Knowingly 

Ingredients: Organic, Americana with a lot of Unsteady on the side 

When I was first asked out on a date by this Omelet I thought it was funny because I’m 5’10 and he was 5’6.

It had always been a rule of mine to only date someone 6 feet or better.

But he was a charming Omelet and I thought why not things weren’t that great in my dating life anyways so what else do I have to lose.

I ended up really liking this Omelet and I kept getting in and out the skillet with this Omelet for a matter of 6 years.

I figured it was more convenient than to add any sausage on the side. 

But one day I got tired and it was no longer enough for me because I realized while I was not wanting to add sausage on the side I was already a side of honey wheat toast to him.   

I realized as long as I stayed nothing would change. 

A lot of us stay in relationships for matter of convenience not realizing in the end the result is the same. We are still not full. We still crave more ingredients.

Don’t ever place yourself in a situation and be stuck with an Omelet you really should have sent back with the waitress.

Once you take a bite into the Omelet and realize it’s not the taste you acquire send it back ASAP don’t keep going to the same restaurant for years ordering the same thing only to continue being disappointed.

This happens to everyone at least once in their life.

But I finally put my foot down and said Omelet Him Go!

And Don’t order this Omelet again EVER!

Y.O.L.K.

You only live Knowingly

Ingredients: Naive spring chicken full of yolk

So I met Compton Omelet by fluke. I was taking the highway exit headed home listening to Donnell Jones minding my business when he pulled up next to me.

I didn’t really pay much mind until I noticed when I took the exit he appeared to be following me. 

As I pulled into my stall and exit the vehicle Compton Omelet is passing and then he put his car in reverse to ask for my number. 

At first I thought he looked young I was 32 and in no way interested in dating a spring chicken. He said he was 27 so I thought ok not a huge difference.

Feeling vulnerable in dealing with my situation with Pasadena Omelet I gave Comtpon Omelet my number.

We talked on the phone a few days and I let him come visit daily and one evening we became intimate. 

I hadn’t realized until 6 weeks later I had been fertilized.

I was 32 years old and he was only 22 as I found out later he lied to me about his age. 

I had to make a decision on what I was going to do. I was 32 was I going to have any more chicks If I didn’t have this one? 

I was in a good place at that time financially and I knew if he couldn’t help me I could provide for my young chick on my own without his help.

So I made the decision to keep my little chick knowing that I had no intention of being in a relationship with the Compton egg.

During this time there were issues of paternity because I was still technically in a relationship with Pasadena Omelet.

This had to be the worse time of my life dealing with this situation and 6 weeks after the birth of my little chick my mother passed on while visiting me here in Las Vegas.

Needless to say paternity was established and Compton Omelet was definitely the father.

This definitely was the beginning of my learning that this wasn’t the best way to get back at the Ex. 

Since the birth of my spring chick I have learned also be careful who you have little chicks with because for the first time in my life I have had to deal with dealing with a featherless (fatherless) Cockerel.

There is barely any bonding between my little chick and her Cockerel but rest assure she has all the love she needs from me and she is the greatest blessing  because I now have a mini me.

This experience with the Compton Omelet has shown me though my judgement may be cloudy blessings come in different forms of life.

I hope you’re enjoying these as much as I am writing them. 

Stay tuned for “The Small Omelet” 

 

Ingredients: Tall, handsome, gorgeous eyes and a big side of cheater 

When I moved to Las Vegas 15 years ago I didn’t know anyone here and I was single and I wanted to meet people so I joined black planet and the first Omelet I met was the Pasadena Omelet. 

We hit it off well we were both Sagittarius born 7 days apart and would often either meet half way between here and Pasadena or he would come visit me here in Las Vegas. 

I really loved the Pasadena Omelet, however after dating for some time chicks would inbox me asking me about him and if I was in a relationship and telling me they were also dating him. 

He would say their lying and would deny it and express only having love for me.

This lasted a good few years until one day I finally got fed up after confirming from a girl that I had exchanged numbers with she was at his house at the same time I was calling him so thought it would be good to give him a taste of his own cheese.

Needless to say when giving him a taste of his own cheese on that very day the first time I indulged in “The Compton Omelet” I was impregnated with my daughter. 

(We will save the Compton Omelet blog for another time)

Who knew that the yolk would be this strong on the first go round??

I was in such denial about this situation that I wanted the Pasadena to be the one who provided the yolk to me.

Needless to say we ended up breaking up and not speaking for a Good amount of time even though we are friends until this day it is where my trust in Omelets started to leave.

I am not a perfect chick that’s for sure.

My blogs are here to let you know it’s ok to make mistakes but scrape your self out the pan and learn the signs of a Well Done Omelet or a Burnt One.