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I drove six hours with grief on my chest and compassion in my hands ready to console the man who’d lost his mother. I brought empathy like breakfast: warm, steady, familiar. But when I pulled up, I didn’t find sorrow waiting at the door.

She was in the front yard, face buried in an engine, working like a man rebuilding something broken. And maybe she was ,just not the car.

Instead he was already under repair by someone else’s hands. The “Scrambled Omelet” hadn’t changed; he just switched kitchens. Some men don’t fix their mistakes; they just trade the mess for a new mechanic.

When she saw me, her hands froze, her eyes darted like a thief caught in daylight. I asked for him, calm and clear, but he never came out. Not even a shadow in the doorway. The kind of silence that confesses more than words ever could.

She disappeared inside to fetch him, anxiety dripping from every step, but I already knew. The cowardice was louder than the engine she’d been tinkering with. I stood there staring at his keys on the ground , the same keys I’d once waited up for, worried over, opened doors with. For a second, I thought about taking them. About holding something that still belonged to him, since he couldn’t even hold himself accountable.

But I didn’t. I left them where they were just like he left the truth.

I walked away with something heavier than metal: closure. Because love without honesty is just noise , a car that never starts no matter how many times you turn the key.

I drove six hours to show up for him, but I left finally showing up for myself.

I never made it to the service. I couldn’t. My heart was too cracked, my spirit too bruised to stand beside a man who hid from both grief and guilt. I loved that woman truly. She deserved to be honored with peace, not pain. But instead of sitting in that chapel, I found myself driving home, mourning two losses at once: hers, and the version of him I kept hoping existed. Some heartbreaks don’t break you they free you from pretending.

Let him eat what he’s made. I’m done serving second chances.

💛 Because at the end of the day, you can’t unscramble what’s already broken. So I did the only thing left to do Omelet him go.

Y.O.L.k. You Only Love Knowingly.

I have not put anything on Lay-A-Way in almost thirty years..Why is it when dating someone they want to put you on Lay-A-Way?

In case you don’t know what Lay-A- Way is, it is when you make a small deposit on an item or items that you want and then pay it off until it’s yours.

Now let me break it down in dating terms..This person will have someone that they like but they don’t want to give what it takes to make that person permanently theirs by committing to them so you make small deposits ie via phone calls, texts, quick visits, a lay here and there without solidifying their intent that they will make this person permanently theirs until they realize that this person really doesn’t belong to them.

So then they send subliminal messages like I don’t like sharing or are you entertaining anyone else?

People who make excuses about why they can’t commit to you at the moment but also express they don’t like to share is someone who has you on Lay-A-Way. You’re placed in a shelf until they “possibly” become ready to commit to you while their away.

This has happened to me and my answer to that is “I’m single right?” which the answer is always Yes. So next I say well you can’t share something that doesn’t belong to you.

I am not that person, you cannot put me on Lay-A-Way and expect to just come and pay off the Lay-A-way (well that depends on how much money 💰 you talking jk) lol and allow me to be yours on your time, it doesn’t work like that for me

Be very cautious of people like this because these people are selfish individuals and if they really wanted you they would do whatever to make time for you.

Don’t be a Lay A Way Ho!

Y.O.L.K.

You Only Live Knowingly

AKA: Entered a relationship with a Narcissist whose full time job was manipulating Women

Whew child! For the first time in my life I got food poising..It lasted me over a year..I had no idea what food poisoning felt like until I consumed this Omelet again for the second time

A few years of ducking and dodging because I knew how I felt about this Omelet and the only Omelet I prayed for even when we weren’t together..

I didn’t know then why I needed to pray for him but allowing him back into my life a second time showed me..

It was on a roller coaster ride. An upside down twists and big dips roller coaster ride..Shit was exhausting..and upset my full tummy

I really sat in the Big Tent at the Circus and watched this class act 🤡

I’m giving the short version because if I gave the long version this would literally be a book…I was supposed to marry him he was supposed to be my Life partner and I found out after already getting my heart involved that he was still married (separated for years but still) , he’s a cheater, a liar, manipulator and has unreleased trauma from his childhood so he has absolutely no idea how to treat a woman..This is a full time job for him..

Even if he wanted to know how to treat a woman, I know that without seeking a therapist he won’t ever change…

The sad part is knowing when you’re dealing with food poisoning is that what they presented to you and what you consumed is not who they actually were on the inside..

Lots of love bombing in the beginning and then just like that you’re like who the f*** are you sir? I often used to say I want my (calls him by name) back because I simply didn’t recognize this person.

The saddest part to this episode is that I still love him..I know I can’t be with him at this time but I love him like I want him to be well to get well but not like I want to be with him at this moment. I just want to be what no one else have ever been to him which is a good friend that leads him to help. Most people I know are like fuck him but the God in me wants him to get help and wishes well for him.

Mental Health is real and if you don’t address it or take care of it you will continue to move through life wrecking havoc on other people’s lives

This relationship forced me into long needed therapy in which was the most wonderful thing ever because it forced me to recognize my worth and who I am and how I deserve to be treated

Listen I’m not a licensed relationship therapist but I will say pay attention to the red flags 🚩 because I ignored them for so long bc I was blinded by Love and false pretenses and motives.

They was all up in my face and I ignored them

So like I always say at the end of my blogs

Y.O.L.K.

You only love knowingly

Sometimes we meet someone and we are blinded by love. We are also blinded by their words.

Sometimes we let them go and they come back because they feel she is the one they swear over for letting go. She’s the one even in pain, Even with tears in her eyes that gathers all her dignity from misuse and rises like a Phoenix after betrayal and lights up the sky.

She symbolizes immortality, resurrection and life after death. She is a representation of good virtues like grace and kindness

She is Phoenix!

If you know me then you know I’m a runner when it comes to relationships, so I want to share that today I burned my track shoes 👟

I burned them because I have relied on them for many years to be readily available to run 🏃🏽‍♀️ away from my relationships when conversations or situations became intense

I burned my track shoes because I realized that relationships aren’t easy and running 🏃🏽‍♀️ isn’t always the way to resolve conflict.

I burned my track shoes because I continued to use them as defensive mechanism to give up on my partner rather than figuring out what we can do to fix the problems we may be having

I burned my track shoes 👟 because for once I love someone so much that I want to make my relationship work and not react negatively to every little thing that causes me to forget why we are together in the first place

Everyday is a new day to make changes for the better and today I choose to burn my track shoes but still race with bare feet 🦶 in this thing called love ❤️

Like I always say at the end of every blog…

You only live knowingly Y.O.L.K.

Meaning..A complicated or compromising relationship or situation.

First I’m going to start by giving you my thoughts on Jada and August…None!!!!

I don’t have any thoughts about it for a few reasons..

I’ve had Entanglements .

It is not my job to be concerned with another persons relationship

But let’s really get into this tho..My sister brought up a great point by showing how a man can love a woman.. Will loves Jada and that’s so dope!! As my sister said it’s usually the Woman on the other side so to see it from the woman’s side was so needed..That was raw/organic…

I personally feel that most men won’t ever let you see them sweat 😓 bc of their Ego etc

I think this was definitely one for the books when it comes to love and relationships. If we were all in the spotlight we’d all be at the Red Table..💯

Anyways Entangle away y’all whatever works lol 😂

Y.O.L.K.

You only live knowingly

The definition of sabotage is to deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct something

Whew Chile being Quarantined can make one do things they would never do..Not working, not keeping yourself busy etc

A lot of us are suffering from severe anxiety and depression and we just aren’t sure what to do with this extra energy we have

Instead of doing something positive we are destroying our thoughts, decisions and relationships due to being over thinkers

Mental health isn’t something I thought that needed to be discussed in my household until recently dealing with my teenager and my own self sabotaging thoughts

Erratic behavior and doing things that can destroy relationships is not a good look especially when you love someone

I decided to write this because I was close to destroying a relationship with someone that is so special to me due to unexplained Erratic behavior

Before you act on something think about why, take a deep breath, find something to distract you from the negative thoughts

If you find you can’t do that then seek professional help

I know I will be

Y.O.L.K.

Mental Health is a real thing as You are your own worst enemy

So here I am years later after being single and celibate for 2 years before the love of my life returned to me

One day I will take the opportunity to tell you which Episode/Omelet this was but in the mean time I will just share this stage of my relationship

It’s been 2 months..almost 3 since we have been physically in the same space..This shit is hard!

The whole, taking the time to get to know each other while being committed at the same time.. I feel like when trying to communicate at times that I’m walking on eggshells bc men are just different..Especially when it comes to communicating

For some reason all the conversations you have had before making the next move in your relationship have been forgotten..

I guess you can say I’m at the “Hard Boiled” stage and the fact that I don’t wanna leave this Omelet for real but I do want to feel like I’m the water 💦 that hardens the egg..Like the most important thing to creating the hard boiled egg bc it can’t be done without water

When the conversation comes up about how I feel he takes it as conflict and it’s not a conflict at all it’s just sharing my feelings which are valid..

I do not want to feel this way on a weekly basis especially when I ask if this is to much for him the answer is always No..

I feel like I’m always walking on egg 🥚 shells just to express how I feel..

These are just my thoughts and nothing more

Y.O.L.K.

You only love knowingly